


Wonderboy

by myadamantiumheart



Category: Avengers
Genre: F/M, genderbent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-07
Updated: 2012-03-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myadamantiumheart/pseuds/myadamantiumheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end, Natasha decides that Steve kissed her just to shut her up, not because any of the cheesy pick up lines were particularly good.  (Or, Natasha Stark uses cheesy pick-up lines to seduce the world's biggest Boy Scout)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wonderboy

The first time Natasha Stark meets Steve Rogers, she’s wearing sweats, sunglasses, and a glaring hangover. But that doesn’t stop her from doing exactly what Pepper told her not to do not five minutes earlier- hitting on national icons is on the list of don’ts that had been detailed in her contract, but fuck you, she’s Natasha Stark and she does what she wants. Or rather,  _who_  she wants.

“Steve Rogers,” he says, shaking her hand and ducking his head. “I’m-“

“Captain America,” she finishes, tilting her sunglasses down her nose and grinning up at him. “The legendary super soldier.” There’s a pause, just Steve blinking down at her while she slides her gaze along his criminally tight plaid shirt until it rests on the waist of his pants. “Tell me, Steve, did the serum make  _everything_  super?” He splutters and flushes like you wouldn’t believe, shocked by her forwardness not even two minutes into their acquaintance. Really, he shouldn’t be surprised. He knew her father, after all, and while she may not exactly like her father, she’ll acknowledge that they might be similar in the respect of taking familiarity to a whole new level.

He doesn’t stick around to shake her hand again after the meeting.

 

A month later, and Fury has already taken over her mansion with superheroes, like it’s the most dysfunctional dormitory he could have found. Natasha is in turns delighted and horrified. Horrified by the lack of privacy living with fucking ninjas gives you, and delighted by the fact that living with superheroes means living with a veritable wealth of eye-candy.

Eye candy like one Captain America, currently standing in the kitchen and sautéing spinach like a pro. His back is turned, hands occupied, and hey- that’s perfect, a perfect opportunity for her to slide right up behind him and pat that lovely ass with a grease-smudged hand. She sets her coffee cup down on the counter (deplorably empty, which is why she came up in the first place), and squeezes.

“Spinach, huh?” she purrs, leaning over his shoulder on her tip-toes, a gratifying pinkness rising on his neck.

“Vegetables are good for you, Natasha,” he says firmly, giving the pan another stir and adjusting the heat. “Not that you would know, given your steady diet of those ‘hot pocket’ things.”

“Oh, I know all about vegetables,” and her hand is not actually patting anymore, more like groping, which is, all in all, much better. “Spinach is just full of vitamins and minerals you know. But why would a super soldier need things like that? Feeling like your diet needs a little more  _iron_ , Captain?”

 

Coffee tastes so much better when she’s sipping it to the tune of Steve in flustered-mode.

 

There are a string of more pick up lines that follower, Natasha hitting Steve with them at every possible opportunity until Coulson just gives up on trying to maintain professionalism within the team.

There’s “When’s it  _my_  turn to get bent over the shield, Stevie?” drawled over the comm links during a lull in battle.

There’s “I wouldn’t mind driving  _your_  stick shift,” when Steve argues with her over manual transmissions.

And the ever memorable “Would the star spangled man  _please_  plan to fuck me red, white, and blue already?”, which Natasha doesn’t even mean to say out loud, but hey, she’s got a problem with brain to mouth filter, everyone knows it. And who can blame her, that song is ridiculous.

Natasha’s fairly sure that in the end Steve finally kisses her just to shut her up.

Which, you know, she isn’t going to complain about.

“Objective accomplished, JARVIS,” she mutters smugly the morning after. “You can remove the Google alert for pick-up lines now.”


End file.
